Instance #3: Roads of Gold
Someday, somewhere, some fake religious character predicted that a billion tonnes of gold is hidden beneath the roads in India. Most of the authorities involved in road building are disciples of that person and are hell-bent to prove him right. So that the digging process becomes easier, they build roads which infest themselves with potholes that are sometimes large enough to swallow an entire motorcycle. Their attempt to increase the gold reserves of India is assisted by cable companies, civic authorities who leave drain holes open, road contractors who think leaving loose gravel, pebbles and dirt on roads increases traction and gives riders a taste of Rossi’s ranch. Some really smart chap who once visited Europe came back so inspired by paver blocks, he wants them to be laid out on every intersection in the city. He doesn’t wish to make the job of all the other gold diggers difficult, so he wants them to be laid out loose, with gaps large enough to entangle a front motorcycle tyre.
Instance #4: Four is bigger than two
Our country perhaps leads the world in terms of rags-to-riches stories. With so many people moving up the ranks every day, the first thing they probably do is shun the commuter motorcycle and go buy themselves a car, which in this part of the world is a way to convey to the world, that you have arrived. In areas where the roads are predominantly single-carriageways, such people go crazy when they see someone approaching from the opposite side on a motorcycle. If they have to pass another vehicle on a single-carriageway, they like to think that the approaching motorcycle on the other side either doesn’t exist or as if it’s their past coming back to haunt them. They will ensure they force the oncoming motorcyclist to go off the road and scare the living daylights out of him. In other instances, if such people have to take a U-turn, they would again turn blind towards the approaching motorcycle, complete the turn and then look at you like you are the poorest man on earth to be still riding two wheels.
Instance #5: When lights don’t guide you home
Most motorcycles in India are equipped with a headlamp as bright as a candle. No wonder then, larger vehicles see and consider oncoming motorcyclists as cheap Chinese lanterns in the dark. Trucks, cars, buses and everything which has more than two wheels will flash their high beams at a biker in a sadist manner, as if that person is a wanted, hard core criminal, locked in a dark room, tied to a chair. To further help their cause, motorcycle manufacturers in India think that anything more than a 35w bulb inside a poorly designed reflector unit, will light up the road too much and mellow the death-defying experience of riding a motorcycle after dark in India.
If you ride a motorcycle in India, are still alive and able to type or write, do share your experiences, suggestions and everything else in the comments section below. If you have mastered the art of adaptability and can share your survival tips with others, we’re waiting.