Once upon a time, the seven islands that constitute Mumbai were home to communities of fishing colonies. Today, the city is inhabited by about 20 million people, who leave their crab holes behind each morning to fulfill larger goals in life. Some use their claws and cling on to dear life as they hang loosely by the doors of a local train or a BEST bus. Some perform daredevil acts on a motorcycle, as they play an everyday game of snakes and ladders through traffic, while some rest their elbow on the car windowsill, rest their face on the palm and watch the game of life being played around them. Some indulge in crushing candies, surfing subways and the more religious types ensure they run to the temple whenever they can.
Most of us here at the Motoroids office have to pass such circus tests every day. We are sure there are a lot of crabs like us out there too. So we decided to list 10 ways which should help you survive this everyday ordeal. Amongst all the things, the most vital virtue one needs to develop is ‘Patience’. It isn’t just the key, but the master key to surviving in the city that never sleeps and perhaps is the only place on earth where distances aren’t measured in kilometres or miles, but minutes and hours.
1) Ensure your car has a music library
Being stuck in traffic, covering mile long inches in an hour is tiring and boring. Make sure you have stacked up all your favourite music in a zip drive or any other such format. So that, if tapping your feet in free time gives you joy, you could at least tap the steering wheel and afford a smile. Ensure it isn’t too loud inside the cabin and you can still hear the ambulance or a fire truck behind you.
2) Stack up on some snacks and water
It could happen that you might be late for work someday and managed to skip breakfast, or that all afternoon meeting might have eaten up your lunch. Keep some nuts and dry fruits in the glove-box, so you can survive until the time you eat a proper meal. However, ensure the contents are kept in an air-tight container, or some ants could creep in the wrong places and make you run out of your car in the middle of a traffic jam. A bottle or two of water will keep you hydrated, but drink in a manner which doesn’t make you switch the hazard lights on and start hunting for a washroom.
3) Stay Protected on a Motorcycle
Wear a helmet and pair it with a thin jacket which saves your shirt, and gloves to protect your palms. If you bike pool with a friend, ensure you at least wear a helmet. Carry a bottle of water and a first-aid kit in your backpack, watch out for any red showers coming out of windows, especially buses. Keep an eye for stationary cars when you have to pass them, someone inside might feel like alighting from the wrong door. Do not use earplugs to play music, or jam the cell phone between your face and the helmet, it isn’t safe, nor legal. Stay calm. Do not involve yourself in drag races with bikers whose mums have asked them not to race. Do not fold ORVMs of cars yourself just to move a few inches forward. IT IS RUDE. You’d understand the feeling if someone does that to you while you are in your car. Follow traffic lights, you never know if there is someone else in the mood to break the law and your teeth on the other side of the intersection.
4) Read everything you can
Some are chauffeur driven in their cars, or a cab or a rick. Make good use of the time to read. It could be the newspaper, a book or someone’s face. For first timers, the letters will appear as dancing, but with time you will master the art of reading their moves.
5) Chat with the Auto Driver/ Conductor/ Fellow travellers
Yahoo messenger is history, but if the idea of chatting still excites you, the rickshaw driver will ensure he gives you all the latest news from the world of politics. Bus conductors are normally busy but we salute their efforts and wonder how they manage to ensure everyone buys a ticket in an overcrowded bus. It’s a good idea to indulge in a conversation with a fellow passenger, will increase your social circle, you might make new friends or could even meet your to be wife or husband.
6) Practice Sprinting
It could be that bus which passed by in front of your eyes, as you were walking towards the bus stop or the train at Churchgate station which is about to leave in 30 seconds. Being quick on your feet helps, even at times when you might have to follow a pickpocket and beat him at the Anti-robbery Olympics.
7) Practice the art of popping peanuts in your mouth from a distance
It could be waiting at the bus-stop for hours, or waiting at the train station on a rainy day in July. We notice people who can pop a peanut directly in their mouth, every single time it leaves the clutches of their fingers from a mile away. We aren’t scientists, but if playing video games, or taking lessons in archery can improve concentration, this nutritious skill will enhance it for sure.
8) Ensure your palms grip firmly
Travelling on the footboard of a local train or the door of a jam-packed BEST bus will test the grip of your palms. If you are the only one who will carry the family legacy and name forward, ensure some of the skills of our long-tailed, arboreal ancestors have been passed on to you.
9) Make sure your vehicle has enough fuel
Although fuel bunks are aplenty in the city, we sometimes manage to overestimate the fuel efficiency of our vehicles in order to save on time. Don’t get into situations where you pray and beg your car not to run out of gas. Being stuck, surrounded by a sea of vehicles without any fuel isn’t a pleasant experience. Not many will stop and ask if you need help. For they might be in a similar situation too.
10) Being on time is being late
Use modern technology like Google, Waze or any such traffic applications, which will suggest if your everyday route is congested. In that case, you can take an alternate way to your destination. If you intend to reach someplace on time, leave early and keep some buffer at hand.
If you manage to survive this city, there is no place in the world which will test you more. The drawback to that is, there is no other place in the world where you will feel at home either. Are you a Mumbaikar or anyone who has experienced living in the city? post your comments below if you have devised any innovative ways to make your commute fun, productive or shorter.