MV Agusta Brutale  action

MV Agusta Brutale 800 Review : Milanese bruiser

MV Agusta Brutale 800 (5)

For years, I’d sown seeds in the orchards of my head that someday, I’ll taste the most exotic fruit there is on two wheels. Here I was then, perched on a motorcycle at the beginning of Spring, my head hanging above a red fuel tank. A droplet of sweat trickled to the tip of my nose, dropped with grace on that piece of metal and traced its way to an epitaph of my wet dreams. That saline drop of moisture had made something bloom. It looked magnificent, exquisite and alluringly juicy. It wasn’t an F4, but it carried the same genome and was just as highborn. It was an MV Agusta Brutale 800 with a missing chastity belt.

MV Agusta Brutale 800 side profile

Before I dug my teeth into this fruit, licked its juices and savored the taste, the Brutale 800 lured me into taking a good look at it. For it has to be one of those motorcycles which takes intricate inspiration from what it has to please. No wonder then, the biggest draw in the design, those three exhaust outlets, mimic the Aorta of a human heart. That trio is connected to a three cylinder motor which rests behind a trellis patterned rib cage, while bony bits of plastic in that area have been sliced by the sharpest of blades. Even the ellipsoidal eye has been slashed to smooth perfection.

MV Agusta Brutale 800 (25)

Bleeding in glorious red, the fuel tank and body panels have been lacerated with grace – sharp, deep cuts exposing the lure of chiselled muscle. As a signature, a trident has been carved in the side panels, matching the odd numbered visual and technical highlights of this machine. The single-sided swingarm allows a tastefully patterned wheel to be exposed on one side, the spokes on which form a circular human chain. If motorcycle was meat, in its class, the MV Agusta Brutale 800 is by far the most artistically butchered piece of flesh. Its visual aroma alone sets your tongue wagging and makes you drool profusely. Time to put it on the barbeque then!

MV Agusta Brutale 800 rear profile (1)

Performance

MV Agusta Brutale 800 action (1)

The Brutale isn’t intimidating when you’re first trying to get yourself familiarized with the controls and the seating position. It feels friendly and sort of petite between your thighs. Even the power figures look happily edible, 123bhp @ 11,600rpm and 81Nm @ 8,600rpm whipped out from a 798cc, 3-cylinder motor. But it is when you realise that weighing in at 167 kilos, the Brutale 800 packs a psychic power-to-weight ratio. Since we had already spent an evening acquainting ourselves with the bike, we picked the Custom mode, set everything to go-fast, dialed down TC and ABS to a bare minimum, secured our bibs under the chin and got ready with a knife and a fork.

These are some of the modes and menus out of the host of options. Reach the gallery at the end of the post for an exhaustive image gallery

Did we say happily edible? Well just as you twist the throttle, the Brutale snatches the cutlery from you and stabs that fork in your right hand, pinning it to the table. First gear rushes all the way till 113 kph, as the power delivery takes a whistling surge past 6000 clicks, only to be restricted by the limiter at 13k. Banging the not-so-seamless quickshifter in a descending order, by the time you reach for the 5th cog, the wind creates ripples on your jacket’s sleeves as you’re well past the double ton mark. Given an empty stretch, this naked MV could easily breach the 250 kph mark. Regulation stuff you’d say. But as you revel in the loud and glorious sound from those pipes, what tries to reach the sky is that front wheel, courtesy of some wild punch available throughout the cog range. The Brutale raises its unsullied head at will, and it does so with utmost ease, even in fourth gear!

MV Agusta Brutale 800 action (4)

The engine feels raw and aggressive and never nods its head to what’s been told like an obedient peasant. It has that belligerence which comes with nobility, reason why taming it is a little tricky. You can put the blame for bad parenting on that ride-by-wire throttle which fails to find a good connection with your right wrist. On-Off transitions are particularly abrupt and to put it in words, roll off and you hit a wall, open it and you’re kicked by an Elephant. Although, the Brutale 800 gallops furiously when you’re cracking the whip and rewards you handsomely for being violent.

MV Agusta Brutale 800 action (11)

Brakes are top notch, the 320 mm Brembo setup at the front bringing things under control in a jiffy. The hardware is sharp and unlike the throttle, helps make things predictable and instills a lot of confidence when you’re braking deep. Funnily though, our test bike came with Nissin branded oil reservoirs.

Ride & Handling

The MV Agusta Brutale 800 employs beefy USD Marzocchi forks up front, while the rear gets a gas filled Sachs spring. Both ends can be tuned for compression and rebound, but even at middle ground, things felt too stiff and skittish. Straight line stability is solid, however, the MV skids and skips over bumps and little crests.

MV Agusta Brutale 800 action (12)

Our test bike was rebuilt after a crash it had during a road test with another publication. The bike was totaled and was almost entirely rebuilt. Now, something that’s been rebuilt from a crash can never be as good as new – unfortunately, the Brutale reflected the damage it had taken in its behaviour. We had to fight and put our family jewels dangle off the seat to make the Brutale 800 swing, if not dance to the music. During turn-ins, the front felt unwilling to obey commands, and stiffened up every time we showed the bike a corner. It’s a shame that we’d never know whether even a brand new, undamaged Brutale would also exhibit similar behavior, but in this specific case, we really had to roll our wrists forward to keep the intended line.

MV Agusta Brutale 800 action (9)

The sharp, responsive throttle, which otherwise would have been a boon, exposed the wounds this bike’s chassis had taken. Any mid-corner alterations would either make the chassis want to sit up or run wide if we’d twist in correction. The stiff suspension made things a tad more difficult, with the tyres feeling skittish and losing traction if you found a bump or undulation mid-corner. It must’ve been the injury on this particular bike, because the chassis otherwise felt sharp, flickable and did give us indications about what it must be like if things were in a healthy state. The Pirelli Rosso II’s grip the surface well, but could not put a curtain on the stiff suspension and our test bike’s savage traits.

Electronics

MV Agusta Brutale 800 Instrument panel (4)

Glance at the electronic display and you’ll notice 8 levels of traction control with 3 levels of ABS. Then there are 3 riding modes to pick from – Custom, Sport and Rain, the wet option latexing things up to let you breathe easy. Should you wish to tinker, the Custom mode will let you select between crazy or civilized gas sensitivity, engine braking, engine torque (100 or 80%), engine response and also lets you decide how the rev limiter cuts in.

MV Agusta Brutale 800 Side profile (2)

There’s a lap timer, you can switch ABS or the quickshifter off and a digital clock if you have the time. A gear indicator, an upward climbing tachometer and a temperature gauge fill up the screen and remain legible even at speeds.

Verdict

The MV Agusta Brutale 800 isn’t a fruit for the commoner’s garden. It looks luscious, succulent and makes you go weak in the knees, but you need a strong appetite and skills to digest it. Eat it wrong and it’ll even leave cuts in your mouth. It has that cottage industry, raw feel to it, the allure of which cannot be matched by mass produced machines.

MV Agusta Brutale 800 Side profile (3)

If you’re smitten by the name, the legacy, those curves and that mad motor, know that that Tyrant in you has taken over. A connoisseur who seeks what is rare, exotic, painfully beautiful and has never developed the ability to compromise or settle for less. If you get one, you’d also buy yourself a new identity. You’d be known as ‘That’ guy. ‘The’ guy who rides an ‘MV’.

MV Agusta Brutale 800 (14)

Just that you can’t buy one now, since the Brutale 800 has not been homologated for India yet. The motorcycle you see in the pictures here has already been replaced by an even more sultry looking 2016 model, which if things go right, should be brought to India in the CKD format and assembled on the outskirts of Pune by July 2016.

3 thoughts on “MV Agusta Brutale 800 Review : Milanese bruiser”

  1. Finally the wait is over, we have found our desi Paulo Coelho for the world of motorbikes !!! You really do read the nerves of the motor running in that iron body……. Bigg fan of your reviews sir !!

  2. Excellent write-up mate. You should seriously look into writing a book 🙂
    Keep up with the good work and I look forward to more such accounts from your end.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Scroll to Top