Jaguar F Type R Coupe

Jaguar F-Type R Coupe Review: Amorous Allure

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I’ll be honest here. I don’t know how to go about this. I drove the Jaguar F-Type Coupe with a big R secured to its name, and now I’m supposed to be reviewing it. Which is kind of my job, but except with this car, I don’t want to layer the reader’s ears with hackneyed sermons like “muscle car like” and “tail happy”. Because if you’re a discerning reader and familiar with the F-Type, which has been around for quite some time now, you’ll be aware that it sounds like the crack of doom and has certain animalistic tendencies that cars of this age meekly turn their faces away from.

For example, you’ll know that it likes getting its rear end loose like the wandering libido of a promiscuous Mughal court dancer, and the fact it’s also as beautiful as one, especially embroidered in lusty coupe trim. So instead, I’m going to talk about how it feels to drive a Jaguar F-Type R coupe in India – all 550 hp and 1.7 tonnes of it, through the heat, dust, pot holes and perennially fierce traffic.

The attention

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As we made our way through one of the seediest suburbs of Mumbai, the F-Type must’ve felt like Monica Belluci walking through a prison full of caged, lecherous inmates. Jaws slacked, phone cameras got busy clicking, and even the grumpiest, overworked driver at the helm of his unhealthy mini-truck had a kinky smile cracking up his betel juiced lips. Bikers* gave the thumbs up – yes – even the evil ones who have as much as sense of negotiating traffic like you have understanding particle physics. Even the ones with suicidal tendencies as they swing past robbing you off a mirror or two, and even the good ones wearing those space suit like things. The kids loved it too, and couples beamed.

*They annoy you all the same; inching close to the lustrous paintwork.

Then we ran into Crazy Ambulance. We were coasting along on a dual carriageway that had more traffic than it was designed to handle. This guy thundered from behind blaring his sirens and slicing through traffic like he was indeed going to be someone in need’s guardian angel. And thus he deserved to be in a hurry. Except he wasn’t. He drove alongside, slowed his contraption that’d lose wheels and cough up rusty bolts if he went any faster than 60 kph, pulled out his phone and calmly starting taking a video of the F-Type. Except that he wasn’t on our payroll and supposedly carrying a critical patient. Maybe he was just mucking around, because all we saw were two hale and hearty urchins waving at us instead of tensed faces behind the driver turned cinematographer.

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Right then, I might have veered off from the topic as much as the F-Type’s tail likes to, but the point is that this Jaguar is achingly pretty. It lights up faces, be it those of smug corporates and yuppies from uptown, or those of laboured villagers and hungry street children. People look at it with lust, with joy, with passion or just bewilderment. And the best part is that you only get as much attention from exotics that costs twice as much, at least in India. Ian Callum’s lines hit a hedonistic peak with the way that roofline gracefully falls into a rear end that had already stolen hearts. I think the rear 3/4th is the best angle to view the F-Type Coupe from. Be it through the dimmed senses from wine and cheese as the fleeting sunlight from the Mediterranean sunset shines off is haunches. Or be it through a Tata Bolt standing behind as it’s stuck while entering Mumbai from Nasik on a humid night.

The traffic

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You do feel like Godfather sitting on a pile of horsepower from a rumbling, supercharged, 5.0-litre V8 that sends power to the rear wheels only and has a dedicated “Switchable Active Exhaust” button that makes it sound angrier. But there’s nothing much you can do about it. The engine yearns to break off its shackles and the exhaust rumbles in anticipation of the following sprint that the next break in traffic will allow for. But there’s nothing you can do about it. There’s no break in Indian traffic long enough for the F-Type to break free. And even if it comes along once a while, you run out of road. But it does give you a taste of its ferocity in those small sprints. It feels like the dams controlling all the rivers in the world have opened up at once, and you’re in the middle of the drama, with heaves of torque pushing you ahead in a wake of an ever fastening growl and supercharger whine. 100 kph dispatched in under 4 seconds, as your brain feels a bit woolly and your legs don’t seem to attached to your ankles anymore, as the fierce acceleration and the banshee noise take over proceedings. In the Indian context, which throws up a surprise every odd mile, driving the F-Type a bit quick feels all the more nerve tingling.

Cliché feeling one – The F-Type likes to gets tail out. Even in Dynamic mode with the traction control on, a boot full throttle will call for the front bow pointing in a different direction than usual. Switch it off and you have nothing more than a grown man’s toy.

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You can putter around in it alright, but every sight of an open stretch on the road will automatically result in a twitchy right foot. And there’d you go again, eyes wide open, hands clenched on the wheel and your back pushed against those sexy, body-hugging “Performance Seats” with ‘R’ embossed on the headrests. This is addictive stuff. Even when you just want to ease through the gears, the V8 responds to your brain with this torque rich, intensely satisfying feeing that’d probably have tasted like marshmallows if it were food. Talking of gear, the ZF 8-speed automatic transmission is known to be a beautiful piece of machinery in the cog building business, and deservedly so. In case of the F-Type, it doesn’t disappoint at all. It makes the INR 1.88 Crore sports coupe drive in bumper-to-bumper traffic like it were something that your mother-n-law would drive. During low speed cruising, the shifts go into place like hot knife through butter. As engine speeds ride and your adrenaline spiked brain orders for late gear shifts, they happen with the finesse of a sharp shooter – quick, precise with the essential, perceptible, somewhat subtle jerk.

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Dynamic mode remaps the car’s software to sharpen throttle response, increase steering weighting, stiffen the suspension, and perform faster gear shifts more at higher engine speeds.

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R models come standard with this meaty, flat-bottomed, leather-covered and heated steering wheel. 

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By the way, R models also call for an electronic rear differential, bigger brakes, and sports-tuned suspension with Adaptive Dynamics; a continuously variable damping system that keeps excessive body movement in check.

The roads

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It’s not as bad as it sounds. Since you’re driving slowly most of the time, you tend to be extra careful. You watch out for the slightest bump, the smallest pothole and the tiniest of undulations. Because if you don’t, you’ll wince, as the F-Type’s ride isn’t the most forgiving. Even in its cushiest setting, the sports coupe meddles with the currents flowing through your spine, letting the brain know of the minutest changes in the road’s topography. But see, that’s how a sports car should ride, and the F-Type is just doing its job. And it is doing it pretty darn well, because let us tell you that there are harsher riding sports cars out there on sale in India. That’s maybe because Jaguar has inculcated slivers of Grand Touring spirit into the F-Type’s character. Ground clearance isn’t an issue when you’re taking things super carefully, but the front lip has a tendency to scrap against a large speed breaker.

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On occasions when you put the power down in Dynamic mode on not-the-flattest of surfaces, the F-Type hops and skittles with frenzy; its wide track, low profile tires that are as wide as Kim’s behind and stiff suspension collectively expressing their discomfort on the typically heaved Indian highways. But the best part is that the steering wheel responds to the frenzy that the front end is involved in. It’s alive with the transmission of the road from the front wheels, and vibrates with gusto as you brake hard while the overworked front suspension is pushed to its limit against the scarred asphalt. On smoother roads that are more finely surfaced, the F-Type’s Dynamic mode comes into its own. The beautifully balanced chassis and those springs that’re stiffer than the ones in the convertible call for some good, honest road holding, aided by fat levels of grip from those wide tires. You get a fairly transparent feedback from terra firma through the groundwork; the essence of a sports car experience. The brakes (15.0 inch front and 14.8 inch rear disc-brake rotors) are mighty potent though, even though they’re not the Jet speed robbing carbon ceramic kinds.

Cliché feeling two – It’s not the car to set lap times; it’s the car to enjoy on a late night drive. And if you’re feeling particularly adventurous – maybe on a well-paced highway run. It’s more of a sensory experience.

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The automatically retractable spoiler goes up at 70 mph (112.7 kph) and down at 50 mph (80.5 kph). It can also be manually raised while parked for cleaning purposes.

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These bad boys surely know how to create a ruckus..

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..while the Switchable Active Exhaust allows manual control of the bypass valves via a button to summon the devil himself.

The dust and the grime

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Even though this isn’t a car designed for Indian conditions, we weren’t facing any of the dust and the grime outside. Our faces were cooled by the dual zone climate control that had nicely knurled, tactile controls and cool, pop-up vents, while our ears reverberated with the rich note from the 12 speaker, 770 watt Meridian surround sound system that cut the chaos out. Or else, we were just getting intoxicated by the pops and crackles those quad  exhaust pipes emitted to announce world domination.

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Not Carbon: That’s actually “Dark Linear Aluminum” on the center console, another R specialty.

Inside, it’s all black leather hued with red contrast stitching and a bit sombre, with an infotainment system that felt a bit old when compared to the ones in its rivals.  The quality of materials and build quality is nice, but when you drop a few more bags of dough for your Ferrari, you know where the extra money is going. There are no rear seats as well, while the glass hatch can accommodate a duffel bag at the most for a weekend’s getaway.

Should you buy one?

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Totally. Unless you’re a Porsche fan boy. And it is not as difficult to live with in India, with its Jekyll and Hyde power-train, a bearable ride quality, chilly air-conditioning and decent ground clearance. Then there’s the way it looks.

Jaguar F-Type R Coupe specifications:

Engine

Type Supercharged V8
Displacement 5.0L
Maximum Power 550 hp @ 6,500 rpm
Maximum Torque 502 lb-ft @ 2,500-5,500 rpm
Compression Ratio 9.5:1
Transmission 8-speed “QuickShift” ZF® automatic

Performance

Acceleration 0-60 mph3 3.9 seconds
Top Speed3 186 mph

Dimensions

Wheelbase (in.) 103.2
Overall Length (in.) 176.0
Overall Width with mirrors folded (in.) 74.2
Overall Height (in.) 51.6
Front track (in.) 62.4
Rear Track (in.) 64.1
Turning Circle, curb to curb (ft.) 35.0
Trunk Volume (cu. Ft.) 11

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